Lose Your Big “BUT”!!!

Recently, at virtually the same time, my sister and I both had weeks filled with “big ole buts.” And we both realized that the use of the word “but” in our business could really be quite debilitating.

She went on to write a great article that I have adapted here.

The word “but” is simply a great big road block in your business as you try to move forward. An acquaintance described it as a “verbal eraser.”  When you make a point and follow it with “but” – nothing that you said before matters.  Basically, you just erased the first thought you had.

Try it out for yourself. Say you want to go to the next conference so you can learn the next best thing for your business.  Then add “but.”

“I want to go to the next conference cause it will really help my business grow, but….”  Nothing you said before that “but” matters anymore, because you have just erased it with your big but!

Following are a couple of situations you may find familiar  – with some tips on how you might get rid of your “big ole but” for good!

1.  Holding Your Business Back. As the owner of your business, you are constantly being faced with new opportunities that have both positive and negative outcomes.  Consider the conference example used above.  When you consider attending the event very often you state the positives – such as I will learn new business techniques and meet more people I can share ideas with” and then you throw in a “But it will be costly, and I am not sure I will put what I learn to use.”

Suddenly – the reasons why you SHOULD go to the conference are completely erased by the ‘but.”

Consider trying this instead “Going to the conference will allow me to learn new business techniques as well as meet more peers.  It will require an investment and I may need to deal with change within my business. “

No “but” allows you to weigh BOTH the pros and cons of the situation, so you can make the logical choice for your business.

2.  Stopping Growth Cold. You’ve just been presented a great opportunity to speak at a large event that is directly in front of your ideal client – finally a great way to get in front of the perfect people!  And what does your brain say? “But!  I’ve never done that before.  I could fail.”

Immediately you start thinking of all of the reasons why you can’t, shouldn’t, and won’t take the speaking gig.

Get rid of your but!  Replace it with AND.  Now you say “I have a great chance to speak to my ideal  market for great new clients AND I have never done this before.”  All of a sudden this speaking gig kind of looks like a challenge.

Here’s the one way to use BUT to erase a negative – “I’ve never done it before – BUT – I CAN do it!”  Now accept that challenge and do it.

3. Creating unnecessary guilt. You likely have a computer if you’re reading this. And if you have a computer, you’re among the world’s population that has an enormous amount to be grateful for. You might even think to yourself sometimes, “I am so blessed with so many things, BUT, I would really like to have more.”

Look what that ‘but’ did: it erased the thought where you recognized you’re blessed and concentrated on that SELFISHNESS of wanting more. BAM! You feel guilty and bad about wanting more.

Try this: “I am so blessed with so many things, AND I would really like to have more.” That sounds pretty good. And hey, it’s actually right. No guilt. No bad feelings. You are grateful for what you do have AND you’re eager to pursue getting more: More knowledge, more relaxation, more job responsibility, more productivity, and yes, even more money.

Work on eliminating ‘but’ in your conversations. See how much more powerful your ideas will be, and how much more positive your own thinking will be.  I’d love to hear how powerful it is for you.

Here’s to Designing Your Success,

-Mary Larsen